The Female Orgasm

An explanation for the origin of the female orgasm could be based on what is known as the “by-product” theory, which holds that orgasm is a trait that is heavily selected in males (reproduction wouldn’t happen without it). ” But from an evolutionary vantage, we recognize that the female and male orgasm are fundamentally different, in that the male orgasm is essential to reproduction whereas a woman’s orgasm is not. Trying to figure out the evolutionary purpose of this is a worthy science project. Some scientists do not believe that it is an evolutionarily adapted trait, while others have found evidence that it may just be in a woman’s genes.

Some say that a woman’s orgasm is important physiologically, to relive congestion in the pelvic area, and psychologically, to give emotional satisfaction. It is marked by the contraction of the pubococygeus muscle. and possibly One function of orgasms in women, is to help draw sperm along through the female reproductive tract, while the associated pleasurable sensations may aid pair bonding. It also suggests that the elusiveness of a woman’s orgasm is evolved, probably because it confers a reproductive advantage that is triggered only with a particularly desirable partner.

If mutual pleasuring and long-term sexual fulfillment are understood as an aspect of the natural selection process, then it can be argued that the female climax is an inherent screening device, and that couples who are more attuned to each other and more sexually fit (mutually orgasmic) are more likely to stay together and have more babies than their sexually unfulfilled counterparts.

Female orgasm seems to hold a strange fascination for researchers. It is something of a mystery to scientists. Females don’t have to have orgasms to bring forth children, so why do they have orgasms? Females of almost no other species appear to have them — so why do humans? In contrast to the male orgasm which has a very clear biological purpose – to impregnate – it seems that people have not been able to find a clear biological purpose for the female orgasm. Maybe it doesn’t need a purely biological purpose. .

One theory is that it is a tool for mate selection, the idea being that males best able to bring females to orgasm are also the best males to help raise children. But how to account for this occurrence, when nearly three-quarters of women don’t always reach orgasm during sexual intercourse. Another is that the orgasm produces movements that increase sperm uptake, and therefore fertility. The contractions of the female reproductive tract that accompany orgasm increase the likelihood that sperm will be drawn up further into the uterus and fallopian tubes, thus increasing the probability that the sperm will, in fact, meet the egg. I have also heard that if the female orgasms before the male that the orgasmic contractions are no longer present, this migration effect is not observed, and acidic fluids are absorbed into the uterus which can be detrimental to the sperm deposited in the vagina following the female orgasm.

So what actually happens during a woman’s orgasm and what are the detailed mechanics that would cause to maximize the likelihood of pregnancy? A scientific documentary featured scientists in white robes inserting a miniature camera into the female vagina during the orgasm and the camera revealed the elusive truth that so many had been pursuing for years. What the camera showed was a female uterus jumping forward like a vacuum pump and sucking up the semen from the vagina. hence, these specifically, the evolutionary reason for this taking place.

According to Ian Kerner, clinical sexologist and evangelist of them, oral sex has long been deemed an optional aspect of foreplay, but, in fact, it’s coreplay — simply the best way for leading a woman through the entire process of sexual response. ” Since studies show the average woman takes about 20 minutes to reach her first orgasm during a typical sex session, while men take a mere four minutes, Kerner advises men to delay their own climax and make oral sex “coreplay” (“the substantive phase in which sexual tension builds, culminates and then releases itself through the female orgasm”),instead of foreplay.

The key to female arousal seems rather to be deep relaxation and a lack of anxiety, with direct sensory input from the genitals playing a less critical role. The scans show that during sexual activity, the parts of the female brain responsible for processing fear, anxiety and emotion start to relax and reduce in activity. This reaches a peak at orgasm, when the female brain’s emotion centres are effectively closed down to produce an almost trance-like state.

How strange to think that there would be any question about the role of female climax. The orgasm, male or female, and the less intense joys of touch are what make sex fun. The fact that this occurs most often outside of pure intercourse is also evidence that the point of the sex act is not only to reproduce.

Orgasms By Women are one of the biggest mysteries in our culture. For, while the clitoris is clearly built for bliss, understanding female sexuality is as complicated as Euclidean geometry, and the female orgasm is the final exam. It could be seen as a political act; given how much space is devoted in western philosophy debating the sexuality of women, it’s apparent that women’s capacity for pleasure scares the hell out of a lot of people. The survival of the species requires more than brawn (the strongest male gets the female), it needs brains and the ability to be good nurturers and providers.

As women everywhere will attest, when it comes to understanding female sexuality, most guys know more about what’s under the hood of a car than under the hood of a clitoris. And while it seems that men have struggled valiantly since the dawn of time to find ways to reliably give sexual pleasure to their women, rare is the guy who has the modesty to ask: “What do I do. Welcome to the world of She Comes First, where the mystery of female satisfaction is solved, and the tongue is proven mightier than the sword. So Im sure most would agree, female orgasm is one of life’s great pleasures, for everyone involved, and is every woman’s right to enjoy as nature intended.

Article Written By J. Foley

Female Bullies at Work

Performance Management: Female Bullies at Work

You thought that you were done with cliques when you finished high school, did you? Welcome to the world of female bullies at work.

There are many theories about why people bully others; a need for power, insecurity, anger issues, etc. For a manager, why people bully is less important than how they do it. Once you know what to look for and learn to describe the behaviors, you have a powerful tool to help the bullies change the way they treat others, or to remove them from your workplace altogether.

While it’s easy to spot typical male bullying behaviors because they tend to be overt and physical, female bullying behaviors are more covert. They are aimed at undermining the victim’s image and destroying the victim’s relationships with others. In today’s team driven workplace, this can spell trouble for both the victim and the organization.

Watch For Bullying Behaviors.

Ostracizing the victim:
Two women discuss lunch plans in front of the desk of a third. They leave without speaking to her or inviting her. When they return, they walk past her desk without making eye contact. The message is “you’re not worth my attention.”


When the victim speaks at meetings, they look at each other and raise their eyebrows, maybe they roll their eyes, but they never directly address her suggestions or comments. The message for the victim and unwary observers is “Outsider…clueless.”

Gossiping about the victim:

Behind her back, they’ll make statements to destroy her credibility with others.

“Just be careful, she’s very sensitive.”

“I’m not saying that she’s hysterical or anything, but she doesn’t seem to want helpful feedback.”

“Some people say she’s difficult, but you just have to know how to handle her.”

“She’s on your team? I’m sure she’ll do much better on this project.”

“She probably got her promotion the old fashioned way…on her back.”

“Well, when I did that job, I always (fill in the blank), but I guess that’s just my work ethic.”

The message for non-victims is “Don’t get involved with her.”

Passive observer approval:

The bully is not the only actor in this sad drama. Other people who observe the behavior and either reinforce it or fail to address it are just as responsible. By saying nothing, they send the message to the bully that the treatment of the victim is just fine with them.

Address Bullying Behavior.

Most of the time the victim tries to ignore it. Perhaps she feels that complaining about it is trivial and that she should be “professional” and rise above it. Unfortunately, most bullies won’t stop until the victim leaves, or until her performance starts to decline and management finally starts to ask questions.

Inexperienced or timid managers attribute these bullying behaviors to “cattiness” or “personality conflicts.” They ignore the drain on workplace morale, increased turnover, potential legal problems and absenteeism that can be caused by bullies. As unpleasant and uncomfortable as it is to face, there is a way to address the problem behavior and establish expectations for professional relations in your workplace. You do it the same way you address any other performance issue.

Document.

Document several examples of the behavior and discuss the situation with HR to start the wheels in motion.

When you document the examples, it’s effective to use the STAR format. (Situation or Task, Actions, Results).

Describe the exact situation or task that gave rise to the behavior: “Yesterday, when Joanna was delivering her presentation…”

Describe the actions of the bully: “You and Sandra were raising your eyebrows and rolling your eyes about her project, but neither of you asked any questions or offered any suggestions.”

Describe the impact of the behavior…why it’s important: “This behavior undermines the credibility of a valued member of our department and it is not appropriate among colleagues. It needs to stop.”

Confront the Behavior.

Consider whether to meet privately with the individuals or to involve HR. Give a copy of the documented behavioral examples to the bully. Tell the bully that the behavior must stop and that you are placing the examples into her file. Explain your company’s discipline process.

Monitor the Results.

Some bullies change because they realize that their behavior can cost them their job, but many simply switch tactics. Keep an eye on the situation and keep HR in the loop about progress, because they will have to be involved if disciplinary actions have to be taken.

Review the job descriptions and performance expectations with your entire staff. Make sure that jobs don’t overlap, providing fertile ground for conflict and sabotage. Where “hand offs” of information or materials occur, establish clear criteria for timeliness and quality so that the bullies are accountable. Make sure that you have a method in place to monitor performance against these criteria.

When you observe positive teamwork, make sure that you reinforce it. Individuals who may have unwittingly reinforced the negative behavior need to know that you are aware of the change in their behavior. An “attaboy” from the boss can be very powerful.

Expect the Best But Prepare for the Worst.

Cross train everyone. You should be doing this anyway, but in this situation it lets the bullies know that they are not indispensable. If you have to cut a bully loose, you won’t have a gap in knowledge and skills while you recruit for a new team player.

Dealing with inappropriate behavior is never comfortable, and many managers avoid it until the situation is so toxic that the work isn’t getting done. Develop your skills at identifying and describing these behaviors so that you can eliminate the waste of time, resources and talent that they devour.

The 3 R’s Of Coaching Female Athletes

Please join me for a fun series. My mission, and I’ve chosen to accept it, is to write a post based on each letter of the alphabet. The English major inside of me is very excited about this project…and my inner nerd is even more fired up! Keep checking back as I tackle the intangibles of sport…from A to Z.

Coaching female athletes is fun, inspiring, challenging, and motivating. Though there are many, many similarities between coaching men and women…there are some differences. Knowing, acknowledging, and acting on those differences can be the difference between a satisfying or miserable season.

3 things coaches must have to coach female athletes

Raison d’etre. This is a French phrase that means “the purpose that justifies a thing’s existence.” So what is the raison d’etre for the female team? Of course, the most obvious purpose for any team is to experience success and win games. The next purpose, regardless of gender, is that our goals can’t be accomplished alone…we need teammates. The difference with female athletes is the motivation required to bring our teams to a place of success. Changing the player’s perceptions of competition, accepting different personality types, and having common language for success are some of the necessary steps to creating raison d’etre.

Raconteur. This is another French word (I was a French minor in college) that I love, because I enjoy telling stories. A raconteur is a person who tells tales in a skillful and amusing way. Not to toot my own horn (but toot! toot!), but I can tell a mean story. I remember a time when my team was winning games, but not in the dominating fashion that we should. I gathered the team around and told them about my childhood love of the video game Mortal Combat. And how when you’d beaten your opponent, you had two choices. You could merely hit him and advance to the next level or, knowing a special code, you could reach inside your opponent’s chest and literally rip his beating heart right out. I’m sure you can imagine that the next team we faced got crushed. Moral of the story: it’s okay for women to be tough and uncompromising in our pursuit of victory.

Raise the bar. I’ve got a long list of pet peeves, but pretty high on the list is the shoulder shrug and helpless look some coaches have when they talk about coaching females. Like, “women…what are ya gonna do?”. It drives me crazy, because it makes poor behavior from female athletes okay. Gossiping, not talking to teammates, treating teammates poorly…that’s all poor behavior that needs to be modified by the coach. It’s not behavior that’s inherent to female teams, but if a coach believes that it is then they’ll let correctable actions go uncorrected. The team will rise to the expectation level of the coach. If we expect more, we’ll get more.

I enjoy coaching female athletes…and I want everyone to feel the same! I believe if we stick with it, we’ll find the key to open up success for our teams.