Preventing Female Circumcision

One of the biggest problems the average African woman contends with when it comes to sexual pleasure is their inability to achieve orgasm during sex. This is a man-made problem caused by the absence of a sex organ called the clitoris. As a result of an obnoxious cultural practice and belief, most Nigerian and other African women are circumcised. This practice, known as female circumcision, involves the removal of the clitoris from the vagina. In very mild conditions, this involves the removal of only a small tip of the organ. But in extreme cases the entire clitoris and even other parts of the labia are cut off. Some experts therefore believe that female circumcision is nothing short of female genital mutilation. It is a widespread cultural practice.

In 2007, Bedur Shaker, an eleven-year-old Egyptian girl died in the process of getting circumcised. The public outcry that followed her death eventually forced the country’s health ministry to enact a law banning female circumcision in Egypt. We are hoping that other African countries will find ways to outlaw this archaic cultural practice.

Apart from the health implications of this practice, which is sometimes grave as in the case of the poor Egyptian girl, it is now a well established fact that women who are circumcised do not enjoy sex as much as their non-circumcised counterparts. Virtually all circumcised women do not reach orgasm during sex, which is the peak of sexual pleasure for both men and women. The reason for this is not far-fetched. This sex organ called clitoris performs no other known function other than to increase the pleasure a woman can derive from sex.

Very likely, our forefathers were aware this function of that female organ, and so introduced female circumcision as a way of checking promiscuity among women — as if a promiscuous or even a perverted male would have his penis cut off! Our forefathers probably reasoned inductively that if the clitoris makes a woman derive much pleasure from sex, therefore by the time it is removed, a woman would not find sex so interesting as to want to engage in it outside of marriage. This is no doubt a selfish, ignorant, and chauvinistic way of reasoning, which was very common at a time when women were meant to be seen and not heard. It was a wicked reasoning imposed on the women at a time they were considered to have no rights.

Unfortunately, this cultural practice continues till this day in most African societies. A nationwide survey carried out in Egypt in 2005 revealed that 97% of married women claimed to have been circumcised. A similar study in Nigeria showed that over 80% of all women surveyed said they were circumcised. Most ethnic groups in Nigeria still consider female circumcision as a cultural norm. Some parents in these societies would go to any length to have their daughters circumcised. Whatever may have informed the cultural ideology behind female circumcision, there is now mounting evidence that it is a negative cultural practice which should be discouraged in all its ramifications. For one thing, it has made millions of married women especially here in Nigeria not to enjoy sex in their marriages. As a result, many circumcised women actually hate sex and try to avoid it. Consequently, this has become a major source of friction in many households, and one of the unrecognized causes of infidelity and divorces. As a result of their wife’s frigidity, some men become frustrated and look elsewhere for the sexual satisfaction they cannot get from their wives.

In this discuss, I am exploring how the tools of development communication can be utilized to help the local people see the need to change their attitudes towards this cultural practice.

Development Communication and Female Circumcision

Development communication is a corrective type of communication. It involves the use of specified communication efforts to drive development. Its main aim is to enhance the well being of the inhabitants of a given society by sensitizing such people to adopt helpful and innovative information. Development communication involves well-designed and well-articulated communication efforts which are meant to bring development messages to the awareness of those needing it. In this sense, how can this tool be used to make the local people realize the dangers of female circumcision? What communication models would be most suitable for achieving best results?

Government efforts and why they failed: Government efforts to solve this societal problem have often failed for two reasons: (1) government officials are often shy to approach this issue with firmness because it pertains to sex, and sex is always a taboo topic in our society. Ours is a hypocritical society. People engage in horrible sexual practices in private, yet they claim to be too holy to discuss issues pertaining to sex in public. But there is nothing really wrong with a positive, dignified, and educative discussion of sexual matters. Then (2) when government does intervene on this issue, it often does so by way of policies and regulations which were never intended to be enforced. The point is you cannot legislate on a matter like this one.

It’s not like male circumcisions that are done at government and private hospitals. Female circumcision is carried out in secrecy. You are never going to see the offenders in order to prosecute them. Therefore, in tackling this problem, there is need to adopt another approach, one different from what the government has done without achieving results. To influence people’s beliefs and change their attitude and behavior in this matter, there is need to use opinion leaders, gate keepers, and traditional leaders to legitimize the relevant media messages, and make these more understandable and acceptable to the men, women and other rural dwellers. This naturally leads us to the recommendations of the two-step flow hypothesis theory. The nature of this problem also requires that the Two-Step flow strategy be employed in combination with the Instructional Design Model to ensure greater impact.

The two-step flow theory
This theory belongs to the diffusion theory of communication. It explains how information spreads from one place to another and from one person to the next, especially in traditional societies. The theory states that mass media messages and other types of information do not often reach people directly but sometimes through the intervention of gatekeepers such as traditional rulers, village chiefs, pastors, native doctors and others who shape opinions in the rural areas. Ideas often flow from radio and television stations and the print media to these opinion leaders who then interpret and cascade the messages to the less active members of the society- peasants such the uneducated, the children and the poor men and women. The theory stratifies people according to their beliefs, interests, activities and demographic characteristics. The two-step flow theory further identifies five variables that interfere between a message and how it is received:

(1) Access to information
(2) Exposure
(3) Character of the medium
(4) Message content
(5) Psychological disposition of the audience

Access to information refers to ownership of either radio or television or other sources of information. Exposure means the ability to receive the messages. The character of the medium has to do with the type of medium: is it radio, or television or printed information? Then the psychological disposition of the audience refers to their attitudes, knowledge, beliefs, and perception.

Message intervention strategy
The recommendations of this theory can be employed to tackle the problem of female circumcision, using the following steps:

1. Since this practice has deep roots in traditional beliefs, merely airing opposing views through radio and television is sure to be misinterpreted. People will misconstrue the message as another attempt by the west to impose their views on the local population. The use of force too by government will not work. A better approach would be to involve some influential local people in the communication effort. Government agencies could package an empirical report and also cite local instances to persuade the opinion leaders concerning the negative impacts of female circumcision. Based on their new awareness, the opinion leaders, especially traditional chiefs and village leaders can then communicate to people in their communities concerning the bad consequences of female circumcision.

2. Even if there is need to make use of conventional mass media tools, this should be the type of media accessible to the local people. For example, putting such intervention messages in newspapers and magazines would have little impact since local people rarely read papers- most of them are illiterate. Radio and occasional television messages would be more effective. The use of town criers too can be explored.

3. Television programs featuring the message should involve the opinion leaders. It could be in the form of a television talk-show which features well known members of that society (the target audience), discussing the dangers of female circumcision. Hearing the views of their opinion leaders is sure to affect the thinking of the local population.

4. Mass Media messages meant for the rural population should be timed to coincide
With when the greater number of the people would be at home to access or receive the information. Airing such messages in the afternoon would not achieve desired effects since most of them would be away at their farms. Early evening is the most ideal time for such messages.

But to ensure that the message intervention achieves the desired results, there is need to employ the tools of the Instructional Design Model. This strategy involves message design and pre-testing (which fall under pre-program planning), message intervention, then monitoring and evaluation. Thus, before putting the message on air, or in print, or through other means to reach the local people, government must have carried out some audience research studies. This includes collection of data on the different audiences to be reached.

This will identify the most appropriate channels of communicating to them, their perception of the problem at hand (in this case female circumcision), and the most effective media that will achieve the desired results with the target audience. It is only after this analysis that message intervention can follow. Of course, messages in themselves are not effective without adequate organizational and managerial support. This is often necessary to ensure constancy and consistency of opinion.

Monitoring and evaluation
Having intervened with the message, there is need to gauge the impact of the message on the population. This is the last stage in any message intervention effort. There is need to sample the population and measure the effect that the message has had on their Knowledge, Attitude, and Behavior. We need to measure the message input and output which will tell us the result of the campaign. For example, how many people is the message reaching? How has their attitude towards female circumcision been affected by the message? Have their behaviors towards the practice changed as a result of the message? Also, how much money is government putting into the project? Finally, has the intervention effort achieved the desired result? The answers to these questions constitute the monitoring and evaluation stage, which is also the final stage in any message intervention effort.

Summary
The implementation of the above-listed suggestions will go a long way in helping all stake holders see the need to stop this cultural practice. It is my humble opinion that this approach will help in discouraging this primitive and rather chauvinistic practice called female circumcision.

Apology For The Female Pleasure

This article treats of a subject still enough taboo, at least in France, the female pleasure. The goal is to give the sexual pleasure of the woman to the center of the debate distorted on the erotism and sexuality in general..

“One holds a man by the belly and the stomach”. This proverb of grandmother is still deeply anchored in the spirits of many women who are, often unconsciously, the accomplices of their positioning in sex object for the man, considered in an archetypal way.

We will explore, during this article, some of through “unconscious sexual collective” and will see how female sexuality can become dull, even unpleasant, or on the contrary abnormally unslung, when a certain number of unconscious factors arise in the psychic representations of the woman and the man.

It is not question of making here lawsuit of one or other of the sexes, because any generalization in this field would be a coarse error, but rather to give in prospect in a clear and sometimes explicit way the responsibilities for each one in the representation and the practice of sexuality. The goal first of this article is, in this direction, to give elements so that the people annoyed with sexuality find the hope of a healthy access of the sexual thing.

The archetypal man seen by feminism

We will begin this talk with a small analysis of the unconscious current female collective, that of the women of generation 65-80 . This unconscious collective starts with an archetypal vision of the man which has the good taste to be the intersection between the feminist representation of the man like “assoiffĂ©e animal of sex” and the representation of the generation of the parents of the “babies boomers” of the man “who goes to the whores and the bar as soon as it has three pennies”.

The archetypal man is seen by the feminist eye like the “male”. Caricatured to the extreme, the man is represented like a “machine with kissing”, to take again the expression, quite disturbing, because of eating – symbolically “to fill” – and of the “stomach” – sex – the men are represented as worried mainly by eating and making love. Moreover, the common manner for the man to make love, it, is also represented in a caricatural way in the feminist vision like the act aiming at “emptying” the testicles, not to employ other coarser formulas.

The man must make love “to relieve himself”, which explains the pressure that the men continuously exert on the women for obtaining their sexual favors. The woman is obliged, in this mode of representations, to transform itself into a sex object allowing the man to appease her lowest impulses, this last becoming absent since the “belly” or the “stomach” is not concerned any more (education of the children, tasks domestic, etc). The man is seen like a “animal”.

This archetypal representation has advantages (and it is for these advantages that it was hawked) but it has also many disadvantages whose majority appear invisible to the members of the feminist currents themselves.

Advantages of the representation of the archetypal man

The use of the nuance passes the lapse of memory of all the formulas of the type: “all X are like that. As regards sexuality, it is obligatory to moderate if one does not want to say many stupid things.

The archetypal representation of the “stupid man” has for objector to protect a certain number of girls from the unverifiable desires of the men. This representation has, indeed, the “advantage” of describing rather well a certain category of men. For the latter indeed, sexuality is the principal heart of the concerns and the simple fact “of leaving” with a woman necessarily implies that the latter accepts, afterwards explicit summations or implicit psychological pressures, to accept many and frequent sexual “attacks” .

In this caricatural representation, it is the immense selfishness of the man who is described like monstrous, selfishness which perverts the sexual intercourse with the woman to make of it only one research of the satisfaction of the male pleasure, without consideration for the pleasure of the woman, but also without consideration for its pain, which is immensely more serious.

Problems involved in the archetypal representation of the man

We will expose two great types of problems which the women can have if they sufficiently interiorized the archetypal representation of the man like”assoiffe of sex”.

The first great type of problem is the difficulty, for the majority of them, to recognize a different man. Because to interiorize the male caricature amounts projecting on all the men the phantom of sexual bestiality. It is thus an act which has as a nature to deform reality insofar as all the men are suspects to be “animals”

It results from it a chronic suspicion on behalf of certain women who are not able “to believe” only the man that they have opposite it does not wish only to use them like a sex object. This vision of the relations man woman can quickly pose a problem of stability of the relation, fact even of the woman and her erroneous vision of the man. Concretely, the latter will be on its guards, and will wait the moment when “the man reveals himself finally”, generally to flee it. Of course, the following man, after the “beautiful phase” of the “beginning”, will wake up, in it, the same type of behaviors of mistrust and often the same exit.

This relation with the man can easily turn to certain paranoiac waiting on behalf of the woman finally “to be deceived” and degraded, and a satisfaction with the being if by chance does it arrives (masochism). Generally, a sexual traumatism is responsible for this tendency to the deformation of reality (rape, incest, marital sexual violence’s passed, etc).

The archetypal representation of the man as a assoiffee animal of sex is thus a convenient means for these women traumatized to project the evil which was made to them by projecting their fear on all the men. This behavior is a traditional feature of the “defense” of the neurosis which prefers to install mechanisms of escape instead of starting psychoanalytical work necessary to reabsorb the traumatism .

The second consequence of this archetypal sight of the bestial man is, it, much more pernicious, insofar as it is very widespread and strongly serves the women in the fact of assuming or of wanting to assume their pleasure.
Indeed, for much of women, the man is always in authority to become a assoiffée animal of sex (we will see some elements further from male libido to clarify this established fact). In a sense, these women took only the bad side of the feminist claim, in addition very legitimate in much of dimensions.

Behind this acquired behavior, one indicates notes of fatalism, of discouragement a priori, at the same time as for a presupposed nature of the man, and as for a devalorization of oneself seen like inevitable, and hidden by the sentences of “I cannot say to him not”, “I cannot resist to him”, or “I do not dare”, “I will make him sorrow”, etc the fear is, latent always there, a fear which can not be not in adequacy with reality.

This play distorts, of course, completely gives it between the two partners, going even, sometimes, until causing the appearance of abusive behaviors at the men themselves! While conditioning itself to give these prerogatives to the men, the women scorn themselves in the name of an archetypal representation of the sexuality in which the man is the caricatural monster. This position serves at the most point the woman who while positioning as a sex object, invites the man with use her body as a sex object. We are in full vicious circle.

One then finds women of which the representation of the man seems to date from last century and is made a priori obligatory mixture of respect, fear and sexual tender. If it is difficult for these women to leave their neurosis inherited to perceive a different reality, it is very complex for them to be authorized to have desire, and consequently, pleasure.

The femme fatale, negative prototype of the bestial man

A certain number of women believe to solve the vicious circle of a seemingly protective female conditioning but actually subjected, by making sexual higher bid, i.e. while wanting to play with the men on their own ground, that is to say the ground of the instrumentalisation of the other.

Let us note that this approach of sexuality is as neurotic as that of the man “animals of sex” .The femme fatale accepts the instrumentalisation of her own body under certain conditions, in particular when it subjects the men. Because, which it accepts, at the bottom, it is to be the first and the only one with instrumentaliser its own body for its own desires.

It is seen here that, far from being a “released woman” sexually speaking, it is a woman who interiorized so deeply the state of woman object who it is the first to be degraded with respect to itself. What one can wish of better with his wives is to fall in love with a man who refuses these plays of domination, even if it means to place the woman in front of her own contradictions.Most of the time intelligent, even cerebral, it can choose partners who are not too “dangerous”, or whose capacity of resistance does not exceed its own capacities of domination. It generally endorses a very male libido in its regularity and replaces

Master in the relation man woman. One could wonder besides which type of orgasms the femme fatale can know, the female pleasure being more one pleasure obtained in a state of confidence, even of abandonment. In a state of domination, intellect is still too sharp to allow the abandonment the real power of the orgasm and a general way, with the rise of the pleasure. Thus, one can suspecter at the femme fatale of problems of the orgasmic type.T.

The schizophrenic man

We will be allocated to the men and will try to leave the extreme prototypes whom we have just seen, at the same time at the man and the woman. Because, it should be admitted, the male tendency (as female) to limit the relation man woman to a purely sexual relation (in the broad sense of the term) is, altogether, rather rare. We will note moreover than it does not correspond, in spite of what one could believe, with the prototype of the Gift Juan, on which we will return.

One finds rather, at most of the men, a quasi schizophrenic approach of sexuality. The man seems to oscillate between two states: “satisfied” and “in request”. If the “satisfied” man is calm and has his own stable personality, the man “in lack of sex” seems to cover one second personality only focused on the continuation of his sexual desire.

The man “in lack” then seems “inhabited”, “had” and the majority of the civilized behaviors that one usually notes at his place, seem to be reduced. Thus, the majority of the women know these strange behaviors of the man which want to say “make love” without the statement or with periphrases worthy of largest of imaginations.The majority of the women are often badly at ease in front of this male pressure, and it is enough that the woman interiorized this caricatural notion of the man so that it yields in advance of the man, believing herself forced, or “to give pleasure”, or “because it is like that”, or “because if not, he will not like me any more”, etc the female pleasure being more complex than the male pleasure, the woman, in this aculeate situation, seldom takes pleasure, or at least takes a “basic” pleasure most of the time.

Male libido

The evolution of the libido of the man is rather simple in his general structure. According to the men, one could be interested in the concept of time limits, maximum time between two “ejaculations” in a perfect world, that is to say without strong external stimulation except his partner.

This time, except perfect world, depends on many factors, in particular the “external” excitations of consumption type of pornography. It during, generally (and under identical conditions), it would seem that each man has a rather regular time, even if one could note seasonal variations (spring, summer).

The male libido could be seen as a pressure which goes up in a pressure cooker. As soon as the pressure becomes sufficiently strong, the stopper of the casserole starts to turn and the man is in a state in which the sexual need becomes very present, often unconsciously besides. The majority of the men look at more the women in this state and go until detailing, often rather coarse manner, their anatomy more than they would usually do it.

When the man ejaculated after having made love (the capacity of the masturbation on sexual satisfaction appears less strong), the pressure cooker was opened, Re-filled of water and setting on fire. The pressure will take usual time to go up.

The incompatibility of the libidos

At the woman on the other hand, the cycle of the libido is copied on the menstrual cycle with a point of the libido around the periods of ovulations for the majority of the women. At the majority of them, the period of the rules is one period if not of “not libido” at least of strong reduction in the libido.One will be able to note that the two cycles of libidos of the man and the woman are not compatible a priori. That explains why the inattentive man with his partner will tend to project on his partner the regularity of his own sexual desires, being able to cause at it, a certain irritation. Indeed, the majority of the women being rather discrete as for their menstrual cycle, the rises and falls structural of the female libido can be interpreted wrongfully like a female inconsistency by the inattentive man.

Certain behaviors are to be in particular avoided that where, under the pressure of the libidinous man, the woman yields. The consequence of this behavior is to authorize the man, implicitly, to order in a unilateral way the sex act of the couple, authorization which becomes quickly, with time, a “right asset” of the man on the woman. Often unable to call into question this “right asset” built during the first months of the relation, the woman sees herself forced to undergo. If she loves the man, she will tend to simulate, if she discovers that she does not like it, she will leave it if she has sufficient energy or will remain in sexual misery in the contrary case.

These obligations turning quickly to the ritual, the libido of the woman can decrease until knowing a certain progressive insensitivity which can sometimes turn to the dislike. The sex act “obligatory” will become one day the great subject of rancor within the couple At will incorporate the dissatisfactions of like other.Of course, if the woman refuses all the time under the pressure of the libidinous man, it is the man who, one day, plugged by his sexual instincts, will tend to be will be attracted by other women. The literature is filled up of this kind of stories on which I will not be delayed.

All occurs like if the couple, during the prelude to the sexual intercourse were distributed the roles: the man having the role to ask and the woman having often the role to say “yes” or “not”.

To find an area of agreement

Of course, it is necessary to find an area of agreement in the couple so that the sexual intercourse finds their place in largest and the most total agreement. It should be still said still and, the sexual intercourse especially within a framework of love between the two partners, should be a shared pleasure. If it is not the case and that some element comes to disturb this common pleasure, it is necessary to stop the act in order to draw with light what in order to will not make a shared pleasure of it.

That starts with the communication before the act, and if one needs it during the sex act itself. Before the act, logic would like that the libido of the woman controls the sexual intercourse, because the libido of the man being regular, if the man controls the sexual intercourse, it is likely to fall into a low phase from the female libido. However, the female pleasure being what it is, any pressure upstream of the sex act can show Nona pleasure at the woman – or at least a pleasure nonorgasmic.

The man must thus put the question of what it seeks: does it seek its own pleasure, its clean “right” by stimulating the unconscious female collective on the question of the “marital duty” or seeks it the shared pleasure? In the second case, it must let the woman be expressed.

Net the act in full medium. The game is worth the candle if there is a problem, in particular a faintness relating to the role, or any other “technical” point purely. It is not good a posteriori of debriefed to announce its pains sexual but them while they arrive, so that the man develops this sensitivity to the female pleasure.

This communication between the partners must be established in a great transparency and not in a substitute of communication. It is thus necessary to avoid simulations of listening resulting from an egoistic pleasure. Of course, the result of listening is the action even the modification of the behaviors. If the man can lose his “traditional sexual prerogatives there”, it can gain a partner there.The communication in the sexual couple is very important because the sexual ground has that of private individual that bad experiments can be quickly traumatisantes. Obviously, young people are the victims, most serious are the traumatisms.

Moreover sexual traumatisms “often lock” other former traumatisms and worsen the infantile neuroses.Because, the majority of the people having had sexual intercourse traumatisantes remain the women (the sexual traumatism is indeed rarer among boys heterosexuals . The man penetrates, and the woman is penetrated, which explains why the distribution of the traumatisms. It is more traumatisant to be made penetrate to penetrate, and the men consuming of the pornography should remember some a little more often.

Elements on the female pleasure

The author not being a woman, we excuse ourselves from the start to have only one idea “external” of the female pleasure and not a lived experiment of the interior of this pleasure. Thus, we will make our not to better say too many silly things nor to try to say more than we do not think dementionner without risk good.

Contrary to the male pleasure, the female pleasure is a complex alchemy. The same woman, according to her interior state, her mood, her state of tiredness, stress, the moment of her cycle, etc, can react in a different way to the same stimuli. This observation is important for the men who consider that to make love is a shared pleasure. Indeed, even if the woman likes usually certain things or positions, it may be that the way of which she likes them is not the same one today as yesterday. It thus required there at the man to adapt to his partner who, if she can theoretically have several orgasms in the same sexual intercourse, would often like to have of them already one each time, which is far from being the case.

If a woman is too intellectual, it will generally need a longer preparation to make it leave an inevitable thought which comes “to look at and analyze” when the pleasure goes up and which tends to kill it. The cerebral woman does not like to lose control and it is often because of its fear of the man. The intellectual women and “controlling” thus have more often than the other women of the problems to reach the orgasm – if they ever reached it.

To educate against the fear

To put the female pleasure at the center of the sexual intercourse, to work so that the woman has an always renewed pleasure, here which could be the creed of the attentive man, nonarchetypal man, educated with sexuality and opened with the pleasure of its partner, conscious that the sexual experiment must be undertaken in a way responsible with an aim of shared pleasure and respect for the female libido. The discovery of the pleasure of the woman being, in itself, a pleasure always renewed to the thousand and one variations, us them men, let us defend the female pleasure.

What Does The World Think About Female Bosses?

I recently made a search in Google for the keywords “female bosses”, and to my astonishment, the search results returned a page filled with titles emancipating negative vibe for female bosses and their leadership style, for example, “do we hate female bosses?”, “Employees prefer male bosses to female”, or even worse “female bosses are a nightmare” and many more. I was taken aback by the mindset that the Internet, the whole world populace, is illuminating. What are the reasons that such titles are proliferating and earning spaces over the screens? Is it just the stereotypical preconceived notion that is portraying female bosses in undeserved and somewhat demeaning fashion or is there a real loophole in women’s leadership style? What is it actually which is attracting the stigma to female bosses in C-suite?

Today’s workplaces hold a decent combination of almost equal number of male and female employees in mid-level. That also implies that plenty of women employees are also contributing in surveys and them considering male leaders superior than the female leaders might indicate that there is something more than just a preconceived notion.

Another survey conducted to rank the leaders on some leadership qualities such as communications, organizational, and listening skills reveals that women bosses score higher than their male counterparts. Then what went wrong when it comes in gaining popularity? When employees rate female bosses higher in terms of caliber then what could be the reason they prefer not to have them as their own boss? Is there anything that we can do to change the mindset or rather is there anything that we can improve upon on our leadership? What are those extra qualities of male leaders that make them distinguished and that we can learn from?

The unpalatable search results made me inquisitive to find out more about what women bosses are doing differently, if not wrong, that their subordinates or colleagues are not feeling connected with. I delved inside the Internet, and asked many of my friends and colleagues about their experiences at working with a female manager. Plurality of them expressed their desire to work with their previous women boss again, however, an astounding number of participants, both male and female employees, spewed varieties of condemnations as well.

Some of those conspicuous feedback are mentioned here:

They lack confidence: It is highlighted that female bosses not only display lack of confidence for themselves but also for their subordinates, especially for women employees, at work.

They micromanage: In majority of cases, micromanagement portrays a picture of manager distrusting its employees. It makes the employees suffocated and makes them cast doubt on their own merit.

They sometimes indulge in gossips: Employees also stressed that they have observed their female bosses falling for gossips on many occasions. They also conveyed that they find such conduct immature, unauthentic, and inferior.

They are seldom emotionally balanced: Many of employees revealed that they had rarely found a female manager who was balanced emotionally and most of them were either authoritative and strict or too friendly and biased. Female bosses were blamed to be only at either end of the emotional distance spectrum.

They shiver when it comes to make hard decisions: Female managers tend to be more indecisive compared to male managers when a decision such as firing an employee or choosing one over the other has to be taken.

They cannot work without mentorship: Female leaders lack in independent decision making ability. They constantly seek guidance and advice from their mentor(s). It makes female managers look less confident.

These were the comments drawn forth during the research. Here stands a good opportunity for us to consider these opinions “areas of improvements” so we can plan and act to redress these gaps. It is true that those criticisms hold true for male managers also, but now that these have been attributed to female managers too, let’s work together to improve upon it.

In order to strengthen our abilities, we could pay attention to the following:

Be yourself

The confidence in your body language will radiate the most when you are just yourself. Stand firm when you think you are right and be legend enough to admit your own mistake when you are wrong. When you are comfortable with yourself, you inherently make a connection with the mass. When it happens, other women employees will relate to you and look up to you.

Be supportive to other employees at work

One of the most desirable qualities of a leader is to make others empowered and self-sufficient. Your fellow women employees consider you their role model. Fortify their trust in you and secure them with your support and guidance. Ensure that they are heard and compensated appropriately.

Lead by example

The best way to instill confidence in others is to disseminate from your within. Provide your peers something to emulate you. First set an example and let them follow you. A culture can be reinforced not enforced.

Be a people manager

Being a people manager means that you should start investing your time with your employees to get to know their personal background, hidden talents, strength, weakness, constraints, and obligations. If you know their other side of life, non-professional, it would be easier for you to help them with their career path, connect with them, and understand them better. There could be many organizational events which could allow you to be familiar with these trivia. Focus more on cultivating an environment which is approachable, cooperative, and supportive rather than just competitive.

Stop micromanagement and start delegating

Never let your employees get an impression that you underestimate their competences. Micromanagement helps to nurture that atmosphere. So get rid of that and instead learn the art of delegation. Let your employees find the way how to conclude a task because that’s how they learn. Assign one mentor to them, if needed. Keeping a tab on every move of your employee will strengthen a feeling of cynicism among them. Your objective should be to empower them not micromanage them.

Stop indulging in depreciating behavior

Stay away from any act which seems demeaning and belittling. And gossip is one of those. First, it makes you look unsophisticated and second, your employees picture you as untrustworthy because if you are doing it for one you could do it for others too. Disentangle yourself from these negative traits as it does no good to your character and self.

Toughen up to make hard choices

It is a fact that women leaders tend to be more emotional than rational, and this predilection is attributed to their innate characteristics. They easily get worried about entailing any negative repercussions, intentionally or unintentionally, to the employees. The decisions such as firing an employee or being evenhanded in appraisals could seem callous and cause a sleepless night to a female boss, whereas, a male manager would comparatively appear more complacent in such moments. While dealing with such scenarios, you should not forget your role in the organization. For instance, before firing odd employees, analyze how to utilize them in any other vertical or team, and if you don’t find any room for them then you need to remind yourself that you are a manager first and you need to do what is good for the organization. Nonetheless, you can always ensure that your decisions do not inflict an employee to take an unceremonious exit. It is definitely a hard choice, but your rationality and toughness at the moment will be fruitful not only for you, but also for your organization as well as that employee in the long run. You must be hard in decisions yet soft in approach.

Embrace a persona between authoritative and social

In a haste to be heard and obeyed, women leaders grab either one side of spectrum of sociability. At one side, when they are friendly and submissive, they bolster an environment of fun, excitement and zeal. Employees working under such leadership feel that they are heard and their leader is concerned about their dreams and career path. However, this persona brings its own disadvantages. Sometimes, it fails to create a line between friendliness and professionalism. On other side of spectrum, when women leaders become strict, they promote a dreaded and stressed environment. Although they get the work done, but in the long haul, the bond between the leader and the employees would dwindle and gradually the subordinates would prefer to leave the project or workplace for good. That’s why you should be discreet with the personality you are reflecting to your employees.

Know your constraints

Being inherently caring and concerned nature, women employers and bosses sometimes get in a phase where they want to make the working atmosphere heaven for their employees. Well, first you need to understand that “you cannot make happy everybody at the same time”. This also implies that you, like everyone else, have got your limits too. At times no matter what you do, your employees will never be satiated and will keep demanding more and more. You have the bigger picture of the organization. You better know what you can do for them and what cannot. Do not go beyond your frontier and never ever regret about it. You need to get a middle ground between the employee’s concerns and organization’s capabilities. After a limit, you might need to spend time in candid conversation with your employees to remind them that their concerns are well considered and addressed and that they have to reciprocate with their work, productivity, and innovations.

Know when you don’t need a mentor

Everyone needs a mentor in their life to learn the tactics of a particular arena, but after a certain period you should be self-sufficient and independent. Keep a self-check that you are not falling into a pattern of constantly seeking mentorship. Trust your intuitions, have confidence and learn from experiences.

Be a catalyst in changing the mindset of people towards women leaders and their leadership style. Days are not far when search results will reverberate positive headlines. We are already good, let’s strive to be better!